Grief & bereavement · in person, online, Phone, Messaging
Grief & Bereavement Counselling
There is no right way to grieve and no timetable for it. A steady, unhurried space for loss, whether it happened last month or many years ago.
Walking sessions available in Kew
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Harjeet Hayre
Integrative Psychotherapist · BACP Registered Member · NHS-experienced Reviewed September 2026 · About Harjeet
What grief is
Shock, sadness, exhaustion, anger, guilt. Sometimes all before lunch.
The NHS describes grief as what most of us experience when we lose something or someone important. Shock and numbness are usually the first reaction, followed in no particular order by overwhelming sadness, tiredness, anger and guilt. Grief is not only about death: the end of a relationship, a diagnosis, a redundancy or a miscarriage can all set it in motion.
The scale of loss is enormous and mostly invisible. More than 568,000 deaths were registered in England and Wales in 2024 alone, and each one leaves a circle of people learning to live without someone.
A word about stages. The five-stage model many of us absorbed was developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross to describe people facing their own terminal illness and she herself was clear the stages are not linear and not everyone experiences them. Marie Curie says it simply: there are no set stages, no timescale and no right or wrong way to feel. Many people find the second year as hard as the first. That is not failure. It is grief.
Do I need counselling?
Honestly, not everyone does.
Cruse, the UK's leading bereavement charity is clear that grief is a natural process and that as time passes most people find they are able to adapt and return to some kind of normal life. Talking to friends and family, peer groups and simply time are often enough. There is no NICE guideline for grief and I would rather tell you that than pretend otherwise.
Counselling earns its place when grief feels unmanageable, when day-to-day life has stalled or when the loss was sudden, traumatic or complicated by a difficult relationship. The research supports exactly this: a meta-analysis of 31 trials found grief therapy helps most for people whose grief is intense, particularly when delivered one-to-one and once the first months have passed.
How I work with loss
Growing around it, not getting over it.
I do not believe in getting over people. The task is to build a life that grows around the loss and that is patient, unglamorous work. Before private practice I worked with Bereft, the bereavement support service for the borough of Ealing and that experience shapes how I sit with grief now.
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Person-centred space to say the unsayable things: relief, resentment, guilt, the memories you cannot share with the people who also loved them.
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Psychodynamic work for grief that has reopened older wounds or for a relationship that was complicated in life and remains so in death.
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Somatic awareness because grief is physical: the exhaustion, the tightness in the chest, the body still braced for a phone call that is not coming.
Many bereaved clients choose walk and talk therapy in Kew. Walking side by side, without eye contact to manage, seems to give grief room to move. Loss often brings depression or anxiety with it and any major life transition can carry its own grief.
If you have been bereaved by suicide, Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide offer specialist peer support alongside anything we do together.10
There are no set stages or time limits. Most people adapt gradually and the second year can be as hard as the first.5 If intense symptoms persist for many months or years, the NHS suggests speaking to a GP, as this may be prolonged grief disorder.1, 8
There is no official rule. Support such as the Cruse helpline (0808 808 1677) is appropriate at any point.6 Research suggests formal therapy is most useful once the acute first weeks have passed,7 but if you are not coping there is no need to wait.
Of course. As Cruse puts it, there is no shame in asking for help.6 Needing support says something about the size of the loss, not about any weakness in you.
Sources
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NHS (2026). Grief, bereavement and loss.
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Office for National Statistics (2025). Death registration summary statistics, England and Wales: 2024.
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Cruse Bereavement Support. The five stages of grief.
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Marie Curie (2025). Stages of grief.
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Cruse Bereavement Support. Understanding grief.
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Cruse Bereavement Support. What is grief counselling? and Helpline.
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Johannsen, M. et al. (2019). Psychological interventions for grief in adults: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Journal of Affective Disorders, 253, 69 - 86.
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World Health Organization. ICD-11, 6B42 Prolonged grief disorder.
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Lundorff, M. et al. (2017). Prevalence of prolonged grief disorder in adult bereavement: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 212, 138 - 149.
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Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide. uksobs.com, 0300 111 5065.
This page is general information from a registered psychotherapist, not medical advice or a diagnosis. If you are in crisis, call 999, NHS 111 and select the mental health option or the Samaritans free on 116 123.
Ready when you are.
A free introductory call, no forms and no obligation. Just a quiet conversation to see whether working together feels right.